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29 October 2017

The Miss-Forgetful + Miss-Grateful

Before I hit the sack, I just want to pen down everything that have been happening this past week. Im currently having my sem break, and its always good to be home. So many things happened, good and bad.

First, we got 2nd place for Inter-part Mooting Competition. It was indeed remarkable, it never crossed our mind to go to semi final, which only top 4 teams were chosen based on our marks. Second, it was in our wildest dream to actually made it to final, and alhamdulillah we actually made it to final !!! and placed as runner up was beyond amazing. The bond between my teammates and the coaches now are tighten, we are now a one big family. Im going to miss every single thing that we did for past three weeks, sad beautiful tragic I must say. But now, it took me forever to digest the fact that we won this competition, it was amazing and I hope this will embark my spirit more in my mooting journey. I really want to do something remarkable and significance in my life, and I hope with mooting, which I had set a place in my heart helps me to go through it inshaallah



Next, it still fresh in my mind how shitty I felt on the night after the first day of interpart, I ACTUALLY LEFT MY KEYS INSIDE MY ROOM, AND NO ONE WAS IN THERE CAUSE ALL MY ROOMATES WERE IN THEIR HOMETOWN ALREADY. I was in all merry, lighthearted mood while walking to my room when suddenly while standing in front of the door, scouting for the keys inside my bag, I remember not bringing any keys with me while going out that morning. I pinch the door knob countless times with high hopes that the door will magically opened, but to no avail. I smashed it, pinch, smashed, pinch, and then .. tired and scared..I literally sit against the door, cover my face and started crying. I took out my phone, inform my teammates that I cant enter my room, I made a voice note and all of them actually can detect my shaky voice. I just cant hide it anymore, leaving a key behind is definitely a too much for me. Plus, we had semi final on the next day, and I must not become the one who will drag the team down tomorrow, I must help aina my teammate who we had agreed on to submit on the next day by doing some bit research. I must focus, I must not distracted ! I try to be compose myself, be in my character, I started thinking for solutions. I called my floor wing capten, but was greeted by the phone operator voice. I try again and again but hm. Grshhhh why you must not pick up the phone at this dire moment ?!!! kalau dalam group whatsapp laju pulak !!!!!!!!!

Adriana and shiffa came help. I love you girls so much, adriana, stupidly trying to smash the door with her body, YOURE GOING TO INJURED YOURSELF BABY PLUS THATS NOT HELPING AT ALL !!! and shiffa already in her pyjama and piece of clothe (?) covering her head went down to the guard post to inform regarding the incident. And luckily the guard gave her the number of srk (not shah rukh khan, just warden) who was on duty on that night. Im very thankful en zahirudin was such a nice person, he said the only option left was kopak the pintu, but nothing can be done on that night cause its too late already. But the warmth of his voice and his comforting words really calm me down a bit, and I started to feel better. I decided to sleep in shiffa’s room on that night, try to forget for a moment on what had happened, showered, pray and went down to bilik bacaan to help aina. I was a bit carefree at the moment cause im not the one who will submit for semi final, but the least I can do was helping aina out as much as I can. It was almost 11.30 and both of us decided to go to sleep, it was a super long day and we have to get a quality sleep for semi final, and probably final perhaps :) so we packed, wish each other goodnight and walked to our room respectively.

It was 12.30 am something when someone knocked on the door and luckily shiffa opened it, my vision was blurry, but I believe it was aina asking me to check my phone, then she walked away. Sleepy, I checked my phone, 4 misscalls, from my coach, it was nami. Gulp

THEY WANT ME TO SUBMIT FOR SEMI FINAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im lost for words. I told nami what had actually happened, and how tired and shitty and distracted I felt at the moment. But again, another warmth voice, comforting voice echoed in my ears on the breezy morning, he told me to fuck everything else, both he and abs hv high faith in me even when I doubt myself. I nod, then I agreed to it. I set my alarm to 4am, losing myself in my own train of thoughts, and finally asleep

And again I thank Allah for all the blessings, won semi final round, made it to final, winning 2nd placed. And thats the end of it :) about my keys, alhamdulillah on that night they sent me the technician, he kopak the door and gave me a replacement key. I packed my stuff, with music blasting, took a shower, and carrying all my stuff to Una’s room cause im sleeping there. 4.30 am, requested an uber ride, off to kl sentral. My ets scheduled on approxximately 7am.

So yeah, I went home bringing my winning trophy, proudly shoved it in front of my mom and safiya as soon as I entered the car. Day by day, everything was good and normal, except on Thursday when I went to bank rakyat to claim my debit card, and later that night I realize my IC wasn’t there in my wallet. I panicked. Shit happening again ofcourse I freaked out. Why I tend to misplaced everything?? why I am so clumsy and careless ?? why I always burdening myself and most importantly, other people? Shit happens, I know, but when it hapenned frequently, I almost couldn’t forgive myself. In the end, yea I actually left it at the counter at bank rakyat, luckily the staff kept it for me. Phewh.

***
29/10/2017  7.11 pm

So.. hello back, again I want to pen down one of the most incredible thing that had happened to me recently. Oh anyway, I have MLS and Consti test tomorrow, and guess what, im studying the wrong lecture slides, no wonder they looks too simple. Dammit

Ok whatever, before I shove my head into the books, I want to remember yesterday. I went to moot audition. Its an audition to become a mooter, and soon will be competing in Namco/Vis competition according to your ranks. I went to the audition, even though I doubt myself. Ive been contemplating whether I should go or not, bcs my greatest concern is of course - time management. Im afraid I will neglect my studies, which should be my priorities. But I went it anyway cause I want to give my best shot. I had prepared everything few day before, I helped one of my friend who slightly had no experience in mooting almost every night, I went to practice submit in front of other coach, I try to record myself submitting and gradually improve from it. I practised answering questions that had been asked by my coaches before during training. I thought they were all not suffice cause I myself were not in a serious mood, im just doing it for the sake of not want to look dumb in front of the judges during audition later on.

So, a lot of people came to the audition, I myself as usual, feel intimidated by everyone. I almost packed my things to go home cause I swear im gonna jinx myself again in the audition room. My turn was 11, and they were all 35 people in the room so I finish pretty early. During the audition, I think I was pretty good, I answer their questions quite well, my voice projection were good, and it seems like they impressed with me. I swear I wasn’t expecting that, why it never happen to me while I submit during 1st round and semi final during interpart where there were many eyes on me ??? hahah kidding. So after my turn was over, we stayed in the waiting room for a while, and then we decided to go have breakfast+lunch+dinner (yes I hadnt eat all day) outside. That was when, my head started spinning and aching like hell. I feel like vomitting at the moment. I only had two suap nasi ayam lemon, finished my syrup lemon and instantly went back to faculty. We took Grab on the way there, and my friends forced me to just go back to college to rest, cause it seems like my headache was worsening, which it really was. While they went straight to the faculty for the announcement of the result.

I personally don’t really mind what my rank was, bcs I knew I had already gave my best. Went into my room, change clothes, took shower and go straight to sleep, I can actually feel my body temperature increasing and I started breathing fast. It was so cold. I intend to sleep for two hours, wake up next to check my phone for any updates. But jeez, I only slept for one hour when i realized it was shiffa in front of my room talking to my roomate, then the door closed and she went away. My sight were vague, and im too weak to call her back. So I reached for my phone, in case the results were already out


I SWEAR IM LOST FOR WORDS. IM BEYOND HAPPY AND EVERYONE WAS SHOCKED AND CONGRATULATE ME AND PROUD OF ME. IT WAS A GREAT FEELING. LIKE..WOW I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING WAS PAID OFF, THE STRUGGLE MAY LOOK SIMPLE AND NOTHING BUT THEY ACTUALLY WORTH IT. MY COACHES TOO WERE DAMN PROUD OF ME, NOBODY THOUGHT I COULD HOLD 2nd PLACE OVERALL, ME MYSELF TOO.





It was a great, amazing day. And oh yeah, please pray for my health, it seems worsening these days plus I have two test tomorrow and I must kill those two. Thanks for reading !