After practically 3 months of not utilising my brain, my writing skills has becoming so rusty. You can tell by reading my latest posts (starting from..May?), albeit working part time at Shukor & Co for 3 consecutive months, which i admit twas the most productive 3 months of my life, it somehow doesnt helped me to be more intellectual in person. My mind works at a snail pace with it still remaining in hibernation mode. I need to change the way I live & engaging myself with more interpersonal/basic at-home skills- be a morning person, do more outdoor activities/gardening, help with house chores/cooking, less spent on my phone, spend more time with safiya, keeping my stuff clutter-free, read more non-fiction books, et cetera
Look at me, alive and Chicking
A little life update - i got accepted into Law school
For the first time in my life, i wasnt really thrilled about it. A plethora of emotions suffocated me at a time. I was grateful, it was my first choice after all. Some of my acquaintances didnt even get into their first choices. Some didnt even get to enter a university/educational institutions for their tertiary studies. I hope everything is at ease for them. All those hours road journey to Kl for an interview which only lasted approximately 15 bloody minutes, money spent along the way, physical and mental fatigue we felt, especially my dad who obviously didnt have enough rest due to heap of works he had in his office, it was all paid off, thank you didnt suffice !
The only thing that bothered me is im still unsure of my decision, i remember the scruples i had in studying law during my foundation. The rigours, the challenges that i had to tackle made me realise that it certainly isn't for the wishy-washy, weak-minded (cough*me*shrugs). And i dont know if im ready for the 2nd round, devoting my soul for another 4 yrs in this course. All in all, i eventually took it up. Ive come all the way for this, and i hope i enjoy my degree life as much as i enjoy my sem breaks, with EXCELLENT & CONSISTENT GPA, SUPPORTING MATES & FINANCIALLY STABLE WITHOUT BURDENING MY PARENTS MUCH & CREATING MORE MEANINGFUL MEMORIES AS A STUDENT. I believe if He has designed this path for me, it is really for me, He knows im able to do this. All i need is having faith in myself, give myself chance to do things out of my comfort zone, teach myself to not afraid of people expectations, always give best shots at everything which overall, focusing more in investing in myself.
Here’s some quotes i live by, I dont remember where i read it, but it slightly sounds like this
The road you're trudging now may seem uphill. Keep trudging it. You will be able to strut proudly later on.
Remember what strength is? Strength is when you do not give up when everyone else expects you to do so.
I believe some of you had read those somewhere, i also do the same until now i realize how impactful those words in my dreading situations right now.
Feeling good? now lets hop into some less stress-inducing matters
Yesterday i went through all my old photos in the laptop, the 7 yrs old me, the 9 yrs old me, the 11 yrs old me, the 14yrs old me. I feel so content looking at those, childhood memories suddenly flooding my mind, and i cant resist keeping them to myself, regardless how ugly i looked back in 2010. I shared some of them with my closest primary school babes, Umairah and Sarah. From cursing each other to finally spill more memories which some i had forgotten ! It was fun, even though the conversation went virtually. It was so exciting when we discovered a lot more secrets of each other, our crush, boyfiends, boys we hate, girls we hate, how we managed to get boyfiends/secret admirers looking like that...hahahaha. We were so wild during those days, so carefree :D Did i mentioned our old photos? ohmygosh we looked adhoribble
2017 us !
2010. what the actual..yes we looked adhorrible
It all started with one photo...which was the photo above
we used to have a lot of squabbles with boys, it even involved physical fights haha. Girl power, when its the boys' turns to attack, we ran into girls' toilet/prayer room to save ourselves. Genius.
Here goes the naughty part, reminiscing our lovey-dovey days. Imagine, we were only in standard 4, and already exchanged love letters with the boys in standard 6 ! It was in 2008 ! I couldve slapped the so-called innocent 10 years old me xD
see? one of the hottest standard 6 boys just asked sarah to date
i couldnt exposed the rest of the conversations bcs a lot of names were involved & also a lot of humiliating experience were shared!
now, i realized i had an amazing childhood memories, we were so fun, yet carefree. we went thru ups and downs together, joys and tears, it was actually sad that i had lost contact with majority of us. however it feels more awkward to start everything from the beginning again, cause nothing will be the same. i promised with all my might, i hope the current friendship i had with all my friends and loved ones, will always strengthen from time to time, blossoming until death separates us.
USA, i still remember vividly how the 12 years old Umairah, Sarah and me creates the abbreviation of us. we came up with the name while sashaying to the canteen, for lunch break ! Ha-ha