31 January 2019

To the girl who will one day date the man I loved

Dear girlfriend,

forgive me for loathing you at first. for i am just a human. I dont know who you are but I hope you and him will get the happiness that both of you deserve. know that he has his moments, but know that he is content just knowing that you are there for him. i am still letting the relationship go, i hope i could, by the time you read this or by the time you meet him.  for he was the first man i learnt to love and fell hard and also, the first man i have learnt to let go. His parents are amazing and kind, very supportive and loving. You will get along well with both his mom and dad, and they will definitely love you, just as how they love their own daughter. His father is funny, he is their pillar of strength, support and discipline, using tough love to prove a point. His mom is very loving and kind. Their children do have fantastic times growing up under their wing. His brother is kind and friendly, his sister is pretty and intelligent. Rest assured that you will never run out of things to debate with them. In a good way of course. i like to believe that i could make him happy and he could do the same for me but circumstances were not in our favour. or maybe rather, he was just not the one for me, but i never denied the fact that for a moment i did love him and now its your turn, to make him happy and content.

he loves outdoor activities and i hope you do too, just so you can accompany him. he's great in taekwando, a national champion and i hope you will support him until the very end, went to every of his games and discover the world of taekwando. trust me its cool. he loves watching movies and so i hope you can watch a lot of great movies with him. he is also just like his father, good in giving advices, whenever you feel demotivated or in need of someone to talk to, trust me he is such a great listener, he can turn your frown into smile with his great words of wisdom and encouragement. he is very determined to achieve his goals, so i hope you will support him no matter what, and learn to understand him. he loves cats very much, especially his two cats, so i hope youre someone who adore cats too ! He is very intelligent, be it in academics or in life generally, a one of a kind which i hope you will not be someone who break his heart, please love him and care for him as how much he loves and cares for you too, you guys will be so blessed then. well, who i am to voice out my hopes of your relationship. therefore, i shall stop.

oh dont worry about your parents not liking him, because he is that kind who people will love him instantly when they met him, very unlucky my parents never met him. maybe, i will never meet you in real life. dont worry, even if one day we meet, i would still treat you with respect. i dont have a lot to say but i do wish you and him the very best. if one day we meet, i hope that i could genuinely be happy for you, whoever you are.


and to the man i will one day love,
allow me to learn to love you better.

11 January 2019

This is why we cant have nice things, darling

I just finished my second last paper last Wednesday and I think I just screwed it up, but whatever I already did my best and I hope my lecturer spare me some mercy. Im already in my second year of law school and I think all of us law students are already familiar with writing 5-6 essays in limited time of 3 hours. I always leave my answer hanging for my lecturers to mark due to time-constraint, but I guess thats what I need to work on for the upcoming finals until my llb years. Wishing the best for myself haha

Anyone whos an avid swiftie fan knew where I got the title from. Umm but it has nothing to do with the content of this post. Well, ever since I finished with my previous paper, I spent the whole day binge watching netflix, Bird Box in the morning, Reputation Stadium Tour in the evening and Gossip Girls back to back eps before bedtime. So productive I tell ya haha ! I have 9 days gap before my last paper so I think its alright to spend at least one day to just chill because I swear, exam week really drains me mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I really have no direction when I start typing this but I just missed writing tho. But now im not ready to share anything that I’d been experiencing for this past few weeks. I really need sit down, gather all my thoughts and be able to finally type it out. But I just don’t feel like doing it now, im in a giddy mood,swift-hangover after watching Rep stadium tour on netflix yesterday, the show was hella amazing. Its one of her best live performance I believe, my ultimate favourite will be the love story/you belong with me. I love taylor, she’s so humble, down-to-earth person, she really thanked everyone who has been participating in her Rep tour including the engineers and the securities. And she really love her fans. Aw I love you too taylor I really hope I get to see you someday !

My writing has become so rusty nowadays due to lack of reading (law notes is an exceptional) and writing also, so I wish to not continue and stop here. Just a quick drop by telling everyone (lol are there even human reading this) that im just doing good. I still havent planned my new year resolution for 2019 but I SWEAR I NEED TO DO IT. 2018 has been quite painful and difficult for me, I have down moments more than ups, I lost more friends than I should and I have no self-love. I would like to thank everyone who has been sticking with me during my down moments, I can never repay your kindness. 2019 will be a year of me focusing on myself, my loved ones and my dreams inshaallah. Wishing everyone a happy new year, love ya