Hi ?

 Im just dropping by, by the way. Wow, the latest post was in February 2020. And now is October 2021. I miss this blog so much, I miss reading my old posts, especially when I was in high school, my travelling posts about Turkey and Seoul. A lot had happened, a. lot. I had graduated. I am now a pupil-in-chamber at a firm in Penang island. Actually, I have a task to be done but I got distracted. I don't really know what to write here. There are too much to tell. But I'm still writing in my diary tho. I write about my feelings, life updates. I hope I will continue writing journals until I turned 60. Im sorry for keeping quiet here. I miss all my friends who always interacting with me on this platform. I hope we can still continue doing that. Okay I think I gotta go. 

bye <3

my safe haven, hehe

This is why we cant have nice things, darling

I just finished my second last paper last Wednesday and I think I just screwed it up, but whatever I already did my best and I hope my lecturer spare me some mercy. Im already in my second year of law school and I think all of us law students are already familiar with writing 5-6 essays in limited time of 3 hours. I always leave my answer hanging for my lecturers to mark due to time-constraint, but I guess thats what I need to work on for the upcoming finals until my llb years. Wishing the best for myself haha

Anyone whos an avid swiftie fan knew where I got the title from. Umm but it has nothing to do with the content of this post. Well, ever since I finished with my previous paper, I spent the whole day binge watching netflix, Bird Box in the morning, Reputation Stadium Tour in the evening and Gossip Girls back to back eps before bedtime. So productive I tell ya haha ! I have 9 days gap before my last paper so I think its alright to spend at least one day to just chill because I swear, exam week really drains me mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I really have no direction when I start typing this but I just missed writing tho. But now im not ready to share anything that I’d been experiencing for this past few weeks. I really need sit down, gather all my thoughts and be able to finally type it out. But I just don’t feel like doing it now, im in a giddy mood,swift-hangover after watching Rep stadium tour on netflix yesterday, the show was hella amazing. Its one of her best live performance I believe, my ultimate favourite will be the love story/you belong with me. I love taylor, she’s so humble, down-to-earth person, she really thanked everyone who has been participating in her Rep tour including the engineers and the securities. And she really love her fans. Aw I love you too taylor I really hope I get to see you someday !

My writing has become so rusty nowadays due to lack of reading (law notes is an exceptional) and writing also, so I wish to not continue and stop here. Just a quick drop by telling everyone (lol are there even human reading this) that im just doing good. I still havent planned my new year resolution for 2019 but I SWEAR I NEED TO DO IT. 2018 has been quite painful and difficult for me, I have down moments more than ups, I lost more friends than I should and I have no self-love. I would like to thank everyone who has been sticking with me during my down moments, I can never repay your kindness. 2019 will be a year of me focusing on myself, my loved ones and my dreams inshaallah. Wishing everyone a happy new year, love ya 

Updated life in a nutshell

I cant believe its already 26^th, but to be honest I do feel like this month is the longest month I’d ever lived in my entire life. When you wake up tomorrow, its still 27^th january, when in fact you already feel like its 64^th. Sigh..but deep down, im grateful that january doesnt end yet, digesting the fact that we are already in 2018 is something so incredulous to me. i feel like 2017 just went by like a piece of rag being carried away by strong wind and lost in the air. It feels like my grip to something that im holding on to is slowly loosing and I kept on regretting that. I still remember the night of the new year, when everyone else went celebrating it outside, I was in my room at the college, so-called studying, but I made myself a cup of hot chocolate drinks while watching fireworks virtually on everyone’s instastory. Boring but somehow I didn’t regret staying in my room, because at least all my friends and my roomates were there with me. When the clock strikes 12, ‘happy new year anis’ they said. I wish them the same thing too, and then we had some banters before we hit the sack respectively. What a sedentary lifestyle I had

I really miss writing to be honest, I miss spilling out my thoughts even though theyre not something significant that you can ponder all day long. But that just what I love to do, started writing without having a direction, it really feels like a great escape. However if this is an english essay, I probably scored only 4/10. 4 for effort for writing many paragraphs and exceeding minimum word counts and also for the ink I’d wasted. Sometimes I do thought about writing something meaningful, so that people can gain something when theyre done reading my posts. But that requires me to gather all my thoughts and be able to finally type it out, and also overcome my sloth to try and get back in my writing grooves. However, 1. I don’t have readers 2. gathering my thoughts will take usually a year minimum, plus theyre rubbish. Not a cool idea. So im going to just rant about my life, the end

Early this year, I just finished with my final exam, I choose to skip that because that was such a terrible kickstart of 2018. I had several mental breakdowns in between the paper gaps, and all I wish was for the exam to end faster and go home. Believe it or not, the last time I was home was back in october, evidence is in my latest post which was written back in october when I was having my one week mid-sem break at home. Moving on, lately ive been forced to deal with the realities of the world and IM TERRIFIED. Next sem I will be living outside, cause no more college will be provided. Well, they do but its going to be so tough and the chances to get college for next sem is really 0.01 % especially when you less involved in college activities to claim for college coupons. Living outside of the campus really give me the feeling of uneasiness. I just had a lot of things in my mind. My life has been in a constant turmoil ever since. Meeting house agents, constant talk of $$$$$$, finding significance in my life both now and in the future, the anxiety I feel towards the inevitable unknown that is the dim of light is not as scary as it used to be. Believe me, writing about this alone is really making me feel discomfort. Did I mentioned about me only having one week break when it supposed to be a month of sem break ? yeah im currently reading a scholarly journal on fair and equittable treatment under international investment law, a very Greek article to me. But I have no choice, for the sake of namco which will be held by the end of march this year, a lot of things I had to sacrifice, and yet being fully committed to this.

Now lets hop into some less-stress inducing matter. Here im going to share some photos from happier days.

despite having stress over chapters i had to covered for final exam, at least im grateful that my study table at college which used to be so messy now looking wide and 'less-chaos'. i remember spent the whole morning de-cluttering my stuff and i just enjoyed the productive morning so much

Stranger Things // How to Get Away with Murder

this two series are one of things that went on during my disappearance from this blog

Both Stranger Things and How To Get Away with Murder, omg why didn't I start sooner. I watched Stranger Things bcs i dont want to miss the bandwagon since this series had become the talk of the town, and true, i finished both season 1 and 2 in just 3 days perhaps? i love the whole squad so much ! For HTGAWM,  I love this show but I'm still in the first season. They're at season 4 or 5 now. But anyway, I was hooked since the first episode. It's basically about these law students who are in a Criminal Law class, and they basically deal with real murder cases in court. But with a twist. Just watch the first episode and you'll get what I mean. It's really good and you don't really know what's actually going on unless you keep watching. You figure it out as the series progresses and I love it.

GOOD FOOD

Kedai Makan Fei dan Ali - please try the salted tempura rice ! highly recommended

 

Coboroy - i love the shell out concept, chilli chicken rice also good ! 

even take away the chilli chicken, cause it tastes so good ! request for more chilli flakes if you want extra spicy

Gula Cakery -  i cant remember the name on the menu of the spagetti carbonara, but i think it has 'mac and cheese' something in the name. it tastes really good ! the sauce is so creamy, everything on the plate is perfect ! the mango cake was also not a disappointment. This place is famous for their dessert, so for those who have guilty pleasure for desserts, put this place on your bucket list !

Shiffa's greatest escape, EHSAN !!! the concept is like a high-class 'mamak' cause they served mamak food, i love the naan cheese, palatable and spoon-and-fork licking good ! quite pricey for a mamak food but worth it

Restoran Ani Sup Utara - heck i wish i know this place earlier, i really love this type of dish, feels like home ! For RM 7.50 , you can get a plate of rice added with salted egg, sliced cucumber, sambal and also a bowl of soup. So goooooooood !!!!!

Home

Zaid is into archery now and he's a pro already, went to so many competitions and winning some too !

went out with my bestfriend, Zarifah yesterday ! Initially we planned to go to Pantai Merdeka to have the famous 'cendol ice cream' there, but we're running out of time yesterday so just had dinner at the newly-opened kfc in my hometown, it was really fun to spend time together after so long !

How safiyya is being bullied

Some random shots

post-forum, photo was taken at 7pm hahaha excuse the 'barai' face

Funfair night out !

Library night out with adriana searching for reference books - one of the stressful nights i had there

♥

till next post ♥

DIY Lipstick Organizer

Im broke guys, seriously. this past few days i had been on and off from kiosk bertam and my grandma's house. kiosk bertam because i made frequent visit to Watson and Guardian to buy some makeup and beauty care stuffs etc etc. my beauty stuff obsession is currently at its prime, guys. rip my money. also, went to grandma's house quite often this week bcs safiya (my little sister) always wanted to play with her all time ultimate favourite play mate qamarina (my 5 yrs old cousin). and also my grandma always invited us to have lunch at her house so yeah. so today i made a decision to stay at home and enjoy my time of my life while it stills because im going back to dengkil tomorrowwww ! and the fact that i havent completed my assignments .. yada yada just make it worse.

back to business, yesterday while i did spring cleaning my room, ive came out with an idea of making a DIY lipstick organizer after i saw this few boxes. and today it is done !

i found out this two boxes are suitable to be used as a lipstick organizer according to their shapes. so i decided to paint it in white. it took me two days because i apply thick layer of the paint so that when it dries, the brown colour of this box will be fully covered. also to make it looks bouncy and creamy like a whip cream (?)  

left this outside under the sun for half day

tadaaaa

ready to be used ! i left half of my lipstick in college, so i put other stuffs first

yeayyy super productive dayy and ofcourse the satisfaction is higher when you the one who made it. this one is very effective and can be used for a longer time tho. it may be imperfect, flaws here and there but hey, give a pat to yourself because you made it. very cost-saving tho

the satisfaction face. plus, loving the warmth of morning sunkiss

oh and also one of  my recent purchase at Watson is Good Virtues Co Day Cream Moisturizer. I was overwrought looking at the packaging and grab it to the counter without any hesitation. also because ive read many reviews regarding it and it works pretty fine on them. the price also pretty affordable for its beautiful packaging and also the moisturizer comes with pump ! all moisturizer need to have pump guys !

also contain habbatus sauda (black seed) which made me eager to try it on because ive never tried any product containing habbatus sauda before and i hope it works wonder on me and i will try to make a review of it by the end of this month ! stay tuned ;D

so yeah, i should stop here, my homeworks ARE waiting. overall, i feel bad because this post is quite short since i have so many things to share, but i still hope this post will inspire you to try making a lipstick organizer, or ANYTHING with ANY RECYCLED/REUSED stuff from your home, on your own ! it doesnt costs you a lot, i guarantee all the tools required will not burn a hole in your pocket. and also u can help saving the earth by recycling all this stuff into something new and convenient to be used for a longer time ! Score.

well, i will end it here. thanks for reading. Au revoir <3

insecurities

Its 4.04 am in the morning and im still wide awake, jeezzzz i hate the fact that my eyes were half-opened and my brain isnt working anymore but everytime i close my eyes for like 30minutes forcing to sleep, and then i gave up and opened my eyes and stare at the ceiling. whyyy I STILL CANT SLEEP ???!!!!

then i try to study, i took my lecture notes and my own notes and put em on my bed, plug in earphone and tune in some soft instrumental musics to help calm my mind and put me to sleep, then all of sudden all those ghost stories, gory features loomed on my mind. fck i can feel the goosebumps all over my body. SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE CHECKING UNDER THE BED, CHECKING THE LOCKER, CHECKING WHATS BEHIND ME, AND, CHECKING WHO'S OUTSIDE.  I instantly whatsapp nurin to tell her i cant sleep so that i feel less panic, then she stupidly asked me why and told me to check the windows. if only she was in front of me at that time i would have slaughtered her. oh yeah she was outside at that time thats why im afraid bcs i was alone in my bedroom. Then i tune in to a few surah from ny quran app to help halau all those satans thought

Ok now its 4.19 am.

So yeah looking back at the title of thia post, insecurities. Im actually at that point when i cant accept myself for who i am. bcs i hv insecurities on people's personality. I cant help myself adoring people with personality that can attract others, i mean, i dont want other people to like me, ofcourse u cant force people to like you. but i dont understand how u can simply put everyone's attention on you, they hear what are u talking, they respond to what u talking, they laugh at your jokes, they look at you with eyes full of inspiration, WHY I CANT BE LIKE THAT??

Sometimes, i try involving myself in my classmates' chat, but end up blaming myself *why i even said that* thoughts bcs they dont find me attractive. I think im just a weird furniture in my class. I've had enough. Haih

I tried, so hard. But i actually end up killing myself emotionally. And im drown in my own ocean of thoughts, and dead inside. 'its fine if someone doesnt like you'- i cant accept the fact that i care so much on people's thought on me. im trying but i stumbled and hurted myself. its so hard.

Sometimes i decided to just stay introvert and be a lone ranger, but it makes me feel more sad !! I hate the fact that i had to walk alone. i hate the fact that i cant talk to someone. i hate everything.

This week is such a disaster for me. Every night i always reflected myself, i look at the mirror, and asking why and why. those sleepless and sombre nights, i hate it that nobody actually cares about me. i knoe im really that complicated.

I also hate the fact that i hv problems with my facial expression. im always with that idgaf face when actually im such a cheerful person and my mind were damn full of awesome and humorous thoughts. im smart, witty, well-organized, wild and bitchy. i guaranteed you would like to be my bestfriend. Sadly no one notice that. And i always kept my inner bitch to myself bcs of my insecurities. its killing me. Its really hurt

Im really a cool kid, seriously. I just dont know why im like this. I think too much. I guess.

4.36 am

I've been out on that open road
You can be my full time daddy,
White and gold
Singing blues has been getting old
You can be my full time baby,
Hot or cold

Don't break me down
I've been travelin' too long
I've been trying too hard
With one pretty song

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,
I drive fast, I am alone in midnight
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,
But I, I've got a war in my mind
So, I just ride, just ride,
I just ride, just ride

Dying young and I'm playing hard
That's the way my father made his life an art
Drink all day and we talk 'til dark
That's the way the road dogs do it – ride 'til dark.

Don't leave me now
Don't say good bye
Don't turn around
Leave me high and dry

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,
I drive fast, I am alone in midnight
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,
But I, I've got a war in my mind
I just ride, just ride,
I just ride, just ride

I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy
I'm tired of driving 'til I see stars in my eyes
It's all I've got to keep myself sane, baby
So I just ride, I just ride

I hear the birds on the summer breeze,
I drive fast, I am alone in midnight
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble,
But I, I've got a war in my mind
I just ride, just ride,
I just ride, I just ride


Every night I used to pray that I'd find my people, and finally I did on the open road.
We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art.
Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.
I believe in the country America used to be.
I believe in the person I want to become.
I believe in the freedom of the open road.
And my motto is the same as ever:
"I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I'm at war with myself I ride, I just ride."
Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?
I have. I am fucking crazy.
But I am free.

3 bloody weeks

wow, sure its dusty here. it's been a long time since i havent write anything here, of course i miss expressing my thoughts in this small box. it's my great escape. so first of all i wanted to share where i pursue my studies. alhamdulillah i'm now in uitm dengkil, pursuing foundation in law. i wasnt expected to be here at first, since it wasnt my first choice to be here. in case if some of you wondering, ofcourse uia is my first choice since it has been well-known as one of the prestigious law school in malaysia . but never mind, i know Allah has plan the best for my life, all i need to do is have faith in Him, work hard and pray a lot.

it has been 3 weeks im here, sure it was difficult at first. i was so homesick that i cant be alone, or else i will started to feel lonely and teary and end up mascara smudging all over my face. it was sick. and i learn to be independent..which is not good. why i must be independent when i'd experienced how hard life was back in high school, juggling with homeworks and tuition classes and revision which i had done all of them on my own. i manage my own stress and time and money on my own. but of course my parents did help me in giving moral supports and financial but in the end, it's all about myself.

and now im almost 300 km far away from my family, i have to do all the things by myself which actually im used to it but this time my family wasnt around. my family here is my housemates whom im grateful to have them with


p/s - this was written before raya 2016 break :)

Sighs

Guys, first of all im really sorry bcs i’ve left this blog for quite a long time, especially those who are waiting for the next sequel of my turkey trip, im honestly sorry bcs im currently busy with my daily schedule. Oh yeah, for ur information im now a working lady ! Heheh but not that type of sitting in the conference room during stress corporate meeting while fingers gracefully typing on macbook, wearing posh high heels and nerdy spectacles with mind buzzed with business strategy. Naahhh inshaallah it will happen in 5 years i guess but NOW, im actually working as a clerk (i dont know a specific name for my job, clerk is accepted i guess) at my auntie’s tuition center. Many people thought i work as a teacher, no mann teaching is really not in my blood - erk :/

My job is basically taking students’ attendance eveyday, registering new students, managing tuition’s fee, photostatting stuffs, arranging the class schedule and last one, cleaning the classes. You know, sweeping the floor and arrange the table and chairs and making sure the switches are all turned off. Cliche but it was quite fun, i learned a lot of things during the period.. I teach myself to be responsible of my job, i forced myself to bring out the best of me in everything i did, i did mistakes, a lot but i always find solutions to avoid all the careless mistakes i did. And after all, i learned to always be grateful. The moment when i see some of the parents have to apologize bcs they weren’t able to pay tuition fee on time, my heart ached. Looking at their faces, i know they’ve worked so hard to earn living, to make sure their children can get the best education like the others, even though the parents have to sacrificed a bit. Ya allah, bless my parents :)

Working with auntie doesnt mean you are free to bring laptop during office hour, watching movies while enjoying maggi cup etc. Even though she is my aunt and we’re really close, but i still have to respect her as my boss. So whenever im at work, i didnt bring any gadgets that can distract my attention, bcs i have to be firm with myself. Work is work. And of course, i must give a full commitment so that when i get the salary, the satisfaction is higher and more barakah hihi. That’s why the twitter timeline is chaos when the clock strikes 11 pm. You know what i mean... And also, now, i appreciate being home so much more than i did before hhahaha

Well, i really have no idea on what to blog about even though my turkey stories arent finished yet (i dont think finishing them, let it locks as a beautiful memories in my mind).. Before writing this, i asked syahidah to give some ideas on what to blog about since i missed spilling out my thoughts here, my great escape. So she suggested me to write about her. Hahah and you know describing syahidah..its difficult bcs she’s such a complicated girl but in the other side, she’s my favourite person that im afraid to lose and have taken a special place in my heart, my ture friend and my soulmate. Of course i need to prepare my body and mind before writing about her bcs i dont want to miss any pieces of memories we’ve created together after all this time. Stay tuned babiesss.. And dont worry for those who keep urging me to continue the turkey stories, inshaallah i’ll writing soon whenever i miss them, and recently im pretty sure all of us hv heard the tragic incident in istanbul, my thoughts and prayers goes to those affected in the incident. Istanbul...my favourite city

And also today, im deeply saddened to hear of the passing of my beloved Alan Rickman who played Professor Snape. As a big harry potter fan there was no one better to play Snape. An amazing actor who will be dearly missed. Always. And yas, i will start my harry potter marathon soon in honour of Snape.

So its nearly 2 pm here and my eyes seems so heavy now and i can feel my back ached badly, i better off to sleep. Still working tomorrow, no weekends for this lady okayy pity me :(

Till next post inshaallah, assalamualaikum

2014 - The tears and joy

Alhamdulillah, today is 1.1.2015. Time flies so fast until I can’t remember what had happened in a half of the year. I feel like I’m still a form 4 student, with loads of homeworks, the immatured girl. that’s me. ya Allah, I still can’t believe its already 2015. I don’t have any wishes for this new year YET, so I
think I wanna jot it down before I summarize the good and bad, tears and joy of 2014 

1. I want to work hard, really really hard (in a smart way) for my spm
2. I don’t want to disappointed my parents anymore
3. Less social networks
4. no more sleeping, dreaming in the class
5. no more complaining about my life

Honestly said, that’s all I want for 2015. since it will be my final year as a school student, a senior year and I will seat for the MOST IMPORTANT EXAM in the whole life, shopping and movies are the things that I have to sacrificed for a moment. this is all because the spm.


so for 2014, it was indeed a very very tough year for me, and Malaysia. recently, a very very heart-wrenching things had happened, the tremendous flood , the airplane crash qz8501 that was also related to Malaysia and yeah, the another two airplane tragedies, mh17 and mh370. may Allah bless all of us


while for me, yes I admit 2014 was a very, really tough year for me. such an eye-opening when I flashback the precious moments. there was times I cried a lot, A LOT and there was time I smile a lot. you know the feeling when you’re betrayed. in 2014 also, Im easily fall in love, for real. it is embarrassing when Im saying this but this is the truth and I hope I can learn from my mistake. well, I never have any boyfriend, but I have a loads of crush. im easily fall in love with hot guys in the movies and vines and blablablaa. 2014 was also the year when my insecurity level turn on many times bcs I’ve never thought there are thousands prettier girls out there beside me, euw


2014 was also a year that I learned a lot about friendship. manisnya ukhuwah kalau dihayati kan. I cried a lot when  most of my bestfriends a.k.a true friends were transferred to the other school.  they are the the only human who can understand me, sometimes my parents also dont get me but they do. they always do. I feel like it was the end of the world (ok this is exaggeration), I feel like im the weakest, so most of the time I walked alone at school. at home, I cried a lot. I really miss them T.T but Alhamdulillah we’re still keep in touch until now. social networks connect us, thank you twitter, instagram, wechat, whatsapp and, blog 


2014 was also a year that one of my childhood dreams comes true. I have always wanted to touch a snow, shooting snowball, building snowman and cuddling in the snow. Alhamdulillah I’d went to korea recently and it was indeed a very very very very very joyful trip ! all my childhood dreams come true ! i learned a lot about korea and until now I still feel that korea is very close to my heart. I wanted to go there again and again. It was still unbelievable, I watched a lot of Korean dramas, and hundreds episodes of running man,  bigbang, mama award, roommate and the other Korean shows , and now im in korea. you now how it feels aite, cant describe with words. I still looking forward to meet all the Korean stars, who had give a big impact in my life, kim woo bin because he is mashaAllah an effortlessly drop dead handsome guy I’ve ever seen in my life, park shin hye because I watched a lot of Korean dramas she’s starring such as miracle in cell number 7, the heirs and recently, Pinocchio. next I really want to meet BIGBANG, I want to meet gd, taeyang, TOP, seungri and daesung. I’d memorized all their songs, watched almost all their videos on youtube and all. I also wanted to meet with all the stars from running man especially jae suk and kwang soo and haha.


what a impossible wishes I have -,-‘

but inshaallah I hope it will comes true


I think, I’d summarize all the incredible things I had faced in 2014, I don’t remember all of them, but I hope the memories will always stick to my heart and my mind. but at the  top of all that, I still need to focus on my spm. may allah ease everything, past is past right, I did a lot / uncountable mistakes and sins, and I learned. you lose and win, that’s life. whatever it is, I learned. hopefully 2015 will be a better year for me, a new me, new life, new hope, new dream  happy new year everyone.

Thoughts

I have this feeling that I am afraid of what the next generation will be, I mean, will they live just like us nowadays?  do they always stick to their phones all the time? do they just talking to their friends on their phones only? do they only laugh when reading a lame jokes on their whatsapp ? or will they feel happy spending their time on their phones 24/7 ? are they going to school or just stay at home learning Biology notes that their ‘teachers’ share on class whatsapp group? I don’t know if owning a smartphones can guaranteed you happiness. in my humble opinion, happiness is not something we can choose, it is something we create. u don’t find happiness, because happiness is something that happened naturally, it is simple. u don’t need a lot of effort to create it. example, smile.


this is complicated. maybe some of u will said that sending ur friends a smiley emoticons also can cheer them up. true, but why it have to be a virtual smile when we can smile on our own, let say, what happened after you accidentally deleted your conversations. did the smiley emoticons still stick in your mind ? or your friends’ true smiles ?


that’s not my point actually, im trying to say that we cant control ourselves. we, our generations are wasting a lot of our precious time on social networks. we become incomprehensibly obsessed over our phones, scrolling instagrams, criticizing the way people dressed, ‘she thinks she pretty ?’, ‘gosh I hate this girl,’ , ‘oh my god look at that thigh gap,’ , ‘she is soo pretty, oh how it feels to be pretty ?’ . let me ask you one questions, what is your point by doing that kind of judging people around and bla bla bla ? nothing. society are full of lies, you can only see their beautiful faces, but you cant see their soul. I wish everyone would stop judging others based on their appearances. As much as I want to hate them for doing it to me, I know I do the same thing sometimes. maybe you think their life are perfect, but how do you know ? youre actually doing nothing on social networks.  sedar tak sedar, dosa ja bertambah kan ? nauzubillah


bear in mind, we don’t live to comfort people. just be yourselves. because everyone else is taken. take a time to clear your mind, close your eyes, feel your skin. feel the air fills your lungs, breath in breath out. you will feel calm. put your phone aside, try to look at the nature around you, the trees, the birds. we always overlook the beauty and calmness of mother nature right ? mother nature is another nikmat that we always taking for granted. are we being grateful to be able breath the clean air every single day ? are we being grateful that we are able to see at those beautiful things in the world, the flowers, the sky ?  The things - luxury and comfort - He's given you is just uncountable. What more could you ask for, really? You have oxygen, a house, complete body (for those yang complete lah), a bed, books, education, clothes, food and drinks, a family, friends, selimut, carpet, closet, shoes, and etc etc. EVERYTHING YOU SEE AROUND YOU IS NIKMAT TAU.   to summarize it all up, how many times we say Alhamdulillah every day ? well, we already know the answers. how are you going to appreciate things around you when your friends are discussing over an interesting topic on whatsapp ? ha-ha


we, all of us should really forced ourselves to be a better person each day. stop with all the shits you are currently doing, social networks = shit.

well, im writing this because I think it is my responsibility as a Muslim, and as a SPM CANDIDATE 2015 to always give reminders to each other. school holiday is, another nikmat that mostly students always taking for granted. nikmat masa lapang. we should do something productive. dah nak spm tahun depan, at least kurangkanlah masa menghadap wechat/twitter/insta 24/7 kan ? buat homework or at least baca satu bab biology. itu duniawi. untuk persediaan akhirat pulak ? are we prepared ? mati datang bila bila masa ja kan ? takkan lebih sesaat, takkan kurang sesaat. are we prepared ourselves to live at the Hereafter ? so, time cuti nilah nak recharge iman kita kan? simple saja. take at least 5 minutes to treasure the holy al Quran. in 5 minutes, boleh dapat banyak pahala kan ? paling teruk pun, dalam masa 10 saat kita dah boleh berselawat ke atas nabi sebanyak 2 kali kan ? tak percaya ?cer try hehe


conclusion – there are many better things we can do other than spending time on social networks especially during school holiday. there are many things that we tend to overlook, until we forgot to appreciate them and to be grateful. So, we need to change and the first step is to be thankful for everything we have. To be thankful for having been born as a Muslim.  I hope you guys can get something from this. thanks for reading. au revoir ^^

And enjoin prayer upon your family [and people] and be steadfast therein. We ask you not for provision; We provide for you, and the [best] outcome is for [those of] righteousness. (20: 132)

And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' " 
(14:7)

Coffee ?

Hi assalamualaikum semua !

Haa harini exam sejarah paper 3. kiranya warm up PAT lah. PAT yang sebenar bakal menyusul seminggu akan datang. aku dah kata sejak cuti seminggu dulu, 3 minggu tu sekejap je habis. tup tup, haa lagi seminggu nak exam. to be honest aku takut la jugak exam kali ni. sebab aku macam tak prepare apa langsung. walaupun aku buka buku, tapi aku macam tak dapat apa langsung dari pembacaan aku tu. ((sigh))

nak kata stress, tak sangat. sebab aku macam relax je. contohnya sekarang, sempat lagi update blog iye. alaa sekejap je sebab lama dah tak bukak blog ni huh. btw, baru tadi aku kena brainwash dengan mak aku, jangan minum kopi. sebab, kafein tu boleh memudaratkan kesihatan.tapi cikgu biology aku kata minum sehari sekali takpe. dan sebenarnya tak memudaratkan kesihatan pun.ye la kot. tapi aku pun kadang marah juga dekat diri sendiri, sebab minum kopi. tapi entahlah, aku tengok budak terer especially kat sekolah aku tu haa, berjaga sampai malam sebab minum coffee especially nescafe. budak asrama yang stay up malam-malam buta tu minum nescafe. fatin liyana, idola aku tu, siap study dekat old town lagi untuk stay up malam. kopi old town sangat kuat ok, korang susah nak tidur sampai malam hari seterusnya. idzni yg kata hahah

namun, aku bukanlah seorang yang minum benda mcam kopi ni, mak aku tak pernah ajar. even my mom pun tak pernah minum kopi. ok mommy, i promise ill never drink coffee again. walaupun aku sebenarnya seorang yang susah nak jaga malam, 5 minit je dah ngantuk.

tapi, demi masa depan yang cerah tanpa sebarang penyakit dek minum kopi tetiap hari, (takde laa tiap2 hari), i will never drink coffee, and i will study hard, in a smart way. aku dah browse kebaikan kopi tadi, nah link dia - http://mforum.cari.com.my/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=728802

kebaikan dia memang banyak, dapat burn fat, dapat meningkatkan prestasi otak, dapat menghilangkan pening kepala. i'm amazed. taaaapi, bila baca keburukan dia.. tak digalakkan untuk perempuan sebab berisiko tinggi mengalami keguguran. i dont want

too blessed to be stress

bagi aku, there're no point of being stress because there are still many things that we should feel grateful for. kalau minum kopi just taknak tidur sebab nak study supaya tak stress, stupid. again mommy, im sorry

lawyer ?

im having problem with myself, sometimes, i dont know what i want to be in the future. by right i should decide and think about that now. but still, im confused whether i'll apply accountancy or lawyer. but my instinct strongly believe that im good in reading, memorizing, so.. LAWYER !

building the sandcastle in the air.. the common idiom used by student nowadays including me ! but not in the essay, im applying it in the real life. ive been dreaming, that one day i'll own a firm. im a lawyer.. ! aahh sounds professional ! class..

err but, final exam is just around a corner.. i should go back to study ! thanks for reading, au revoir !

beautiful day

thank you everyone for making my day beautiful, mom and dad, friends and especially idzni and kak hamizah (they gave me a very precious gifts!)

form 3

back in 2013, i might describe myself as a stubborn person alive.why ? because i am the only prefect who broke the school's rules. i have reason behind all this, but still i felt so guilty about that. people be like, 'pengawas pun langgar peraturan'. that really made me crush. bukan kehendakku, tapi terpaksa.

'everything happens for a good reason' - nik nur madihah. i believe there are a lot of positive values i gain from my problem. true friends. bila dah jadi macam ni, hanya true friends yang akan ada di samping kita. i do have, a lot. and they are all kind-hearted.

but the others ? cakap belakang, mengutuk, fitnah aku semua ada. i'm tired of all that, i cried a lot. im dreading of everyone. at school, i pretended to be fine. smile, laugh at people's jokes. people will describe me as a jovial person. even in front of my friends. until one day..

masa tu, waktu solat zuhur. since i cannot solat (ABC), i went to astaka asrama, place where all the ABC girls have to zikr while the others solat berjemaah. haaa i still remember, masa tu hari pertama trial pmr. so, my mood was fine. on the way to astaka, my friend anis raihanah requested me to accompany her to the hostel, to drink water. i'm like, ok lah, jom ! sampai ja asrama, kami tengok ramai yang duk kat situ, tunggu turn nak minum air. i remember all their faces. i do remember. they are all my batchmates.

then, came this girl. her name is 'tuuuuttt'. she came to me and said ' wei, pengawas pun pakai baju kain licin ! dimerit dia, dimerit dia !'. i was kind of, embarrassed at that moment. how she point me out like that in front of my friends. everyone was silent, act like nothing happened. i know they care about my feelings. but this girl.. urghhh that was an obnoxious thing to say ! i almost cried. i just kept quiet, no words came out from my mouth. rasa macam nak sembelih ja pompuan ni. i dont want to argue, because i know she have feelings too. so, i just kept quiet, and told myself to be patient. but deep in my heart, hancur lebur.

from that day, her face was the most nauseating face i'd ever seen in my life. i hate her very much. i always pray bad for her. dulu k, dulu. tapi, aku bukanlah seorang yang suka berdendam. because that made me sick. so, i just forgive her. eventho she never asked for my forgiveness. but, i always bear in mind that 'forgiving someone not because they deserve it, but because you need peace'. *shrugs*

since then, i always note in my mind that,' jangan cari pasal dengan orang yang tak pernah buat pasal dengan hang, tak kisahlah teruk mana pun dia'. got it ? yay. because you dont live to be perfect. tak payah nak highlight flaws orang, mulut tu kena jaga, nanti masuk neraka tak guna dah nak taubat.

tu cerita masa form 3 dulu. hahah ! now, i need to focus on my life as a form 4 students. tapi, tahun ni aku jadi baik dah. hahaha maklumlah senior kena tunjukkan yang baik baik kat juniors. jangan salah faham, tunjuk baik dan tunjukkan yg baik baik are two different things ! there are more adventure, labyrinth journey to come ! till next entry, au revoir !