To the girl who will one day date the man I loved

Dear girlfriend,

forgive me for loathing you at first. for i am just a human. I dont know who you are but I hope you and him will get the happiness that both of you deserve. know that he has his moments, but know that he is content just knowing that you are there for him. i am still letting the relationship go, i hope i could, by the time you read this or by the time you meet him.  for he was the first man i learnt to love and fell hard and also, the first man i have learnt to let go. His parents are amazing and kind, very supportive and loving. You will get along well with both his mom and dad, and they will definitely love you, just as how they love their own daughter. His father is funny, he is their pillar of strength, support and discipline, using tough love to prove a point. His mom is very loving and kind. Their children do have fantastic times growing up under their wing. His brother is kind and friendly, his sister is pretty and intelligent. Rest assured that you will never run out of things to debate with them. In a good way of course. i like to believe that i could make him happy and he could do the same for me but circumstances were not in our favour. or maybe rather, he was just not the one for me, but i never denied the fact that for a moment i did love him and now its your turn, to make him happy and content.

he loves outdoor activities and i hope you do too, just so you can accompany him. he's great in taekwando, a national champion and i hope you will support him until the very end, went to every of his games and discover the world of taekwando. trust me its cool. he loves watching movies and so i hope you can watch a lot of great movies with him. he is also just like his father, good in giving advices, whenever you feel demotivated or in need of someone to talk to, trust me he is such a great listener, he can turn your frown into smile with his great words of wisdom and encouragement. he is very determined to achieve his goals, so i hope you will support him no matter what, and learn to understand him. he loves cats very much, especially his two cats, so i hope youre someone who adore cats too ! He is very intelligent, be it in academics or in life generally, a one of a kind which i hope you will not be someone who break his heart, please love him and care for him as how much he loves and cares for you too, you guys will be so blessed then. well, who i am to voice out my hopes of your relationship. therefore, i shall stop.

oh dont worry about your parents not liking him, because he is that kind who people will love him instantly when they met him, very unlucky my parents never met him. maybe, i will never meet you in real life. dont worry, even if one day we meet, i would still treat you with respect. i dont have a lot to say but i do wish you and him the very best. if one day we meet, i hope that i could genuinely be happy for you, whoever you are.

and to the man i will one day love,

allow me to learn to love you better.

Things I wanted to tell you

I wish I am your dream girl. I wish I have all the criterias of her. I wish you feel content everytime im around. I wish you always feel warm and comfortable with me. I wish you don’t find me as a burden. I wish I treat you right this whole time. I wish you never see my flaws or even if you do, I wish you accept me as who I am. I wish youre okay with my mood swing. I wish you never feel disheartened whenever I utter any bad words without me knowing that may cause you feel that way. I wish you still believe im prettiest even tho there are tons of prettier girls out there. I wish you never feel ‘lonely’ in this relationship. I wish you can bear with my insecurity issues. I wish you know that everyday im trying so hard to improve myself in order to achieve my dreams. I wish you will stay with me throughout this lowest point of my life where everything is not in favour of me but I want you to know that I have high faith in Allah and I believe one day He will fulfil all my dreams. I wish you know how special you are to me. I wish you allow me to learn to love you better. And most importantly I wish this unique feelings of us will never fade, strong since day 1.

I really hope I have the guts to tell you all of this everytime we met, but I cant.

Enchanted

I was in the War Room, as I was typing this, the song Enchanted by Taylor Swift is playing, that’s how I came up with the title. But theres something about this song that make me want to pen down on what happen on 10^th February. His parents invited me to their dinner. It was my first time meeting with his family, I had the whole zoo in my stomach, but there, I feel so welcomed and warm, it was a nice dinner.

And also I want to thank my girlfriends who were there helping me choosing an outfit, ironing, a pronto touch up on my face, and not to forget a lot of advices given (from the single ladies club ahahahah). How can I forget that beautiful mess moment.

10th February 2018